Week 5: The Devils' Desert
Life in the Valley of the Sun is pretty damn good for the members of Sun Devil nation who escape the heat of desert days with creative tailgate games and spend their warm desert nights hosting #Pac12AfterDark.
While Arizona State does not have the largest tailgate scene in the Pac-12, what ASU tailgating lacks in volume, it more than makes up for in the quality of the get-togethers hosted under the maroon and gold tents surrounding Sun Devil Stadium. Every tailgate at ASU has 3 essential elements:
First, every tailgate has a guy (or girl) in a Pat Tillman jersey. I'm not going to lie, I think it is weird when college football fans wear jerseys of the 18-21 year-olds they're rooting for. It's still kinda goofy when fans wear college jerseys of their favorite alums (It's a strange dichotomy when 60-year old men are wearing the jersey of the current star while the 22-yeard old recent grad is rocking his Jake the Snake (Plummer) jersey as if he has any memories of 1996). But when the jersey you're rocking on gameday is for one of the biggest badasses there's ever been, a man who left a national legacy not based upon the traits he displayed while excelling on the field, but rather for his ultimate display of character off the field, by all means, throw on that number forty-two jersey with pride.
Second, every tailgate has a guy chugging some variation of an energy drink. From Four Loko (which apparently isn't illegal anymore) to some Maroon-colored Red Bull, energy drinks are everywhere on Sun Devils' gamedays. Maybe it's a tactic to survive the dehydrating heat or has simply become part of the gameday routine to ensure fans stay awake for the 5-hour offensive shootouts the Sun Devils have mastered, but for whatever reason, ASU fans consume more caffeine on gameday than a group of middle-school boys left alone at a 7-11.
Third, and I apologize for stereotyping, as ASU certainly has a reputation for this, but the truth is every ASU tailgate has at least one really good-looking woman. Whether it's the 365 days of "pool time" weather, something in that chlorinated water, or simply the stress-free life of not having to worry about daylight savings time, Sun Devil games apparently double as modeling agency recruitment events.
Part of the reason you're not overwhelmed by a sea of maroon and gold when arriving at Sun Devil Stadium is due the the fact that ASU is in the middle of Phase II of a major three-phase construction project to renovate Sun Devil Stadium and build a shiny, new football center to show off to recruits (in case walking them by the attractive tailgates isn't sale enough). In the end, I'm sure the renovations will lead to an even more enjoyable way to take in Pac-12 football on fall desert nights. However, the construction, in addition to another recently completed project on former Sun Devil stadium parking lots, has currently left loyal tailgaters spread out across the greater Tempe area without a centralized area for congregating in the hours leading up to kickoff.
However, the loyal fans who brave the desert heat to enjoy gameday in the shadow of Sun Devil Stadium, sure know how to have a good time. While every tailgate has the aforementioned essential elements, Sun Devil fans also seem to be some of the most original in the Pac-12 when it comes to putting their own spin on tailgating traditions.
Kyle’s Crew
Grabbing one of the sparse plots of grass around Sun Devil Stadium was Kyle Martin and his friends. As I walked up to Kyle’s tailgate, it was immediately apparent that he was a veteran of Sun Devil Saturdays, as he was enjoying a beer in the shade of his tent while wringing one of those cooling bands around his neck. When I commented on what a savvy move this was, someone commented, “There’s a reason all our games are at night.” It was at this point that it finally dawned on me, there might actually be a reason why #Pac12AfterDark seems to always end in Arizona. Aside from the guarantee of late-night scoring fests due to Todd Graham's belief that tackling is illegal in the fourth quarter, it also so happens that the daytime temperature in Tempe is usually somewhere between boiling and scorching. As one of the women at the tailgate shared, “the last time we had a September day game, it was so hot, I gave some guy $10 bucks for a block of ice, just to put it down my shirt.” (For all the kids reading this from your dorm room in Minnesota, yes, ASU does accept Spring transfers.)
Kyle’s crew welcomed me by opening up today’s specialty gameday drink, bRuin Brew. Each Saturday, the crew’s very own “bartender” comes up with a specialty gameday drink for everyone to toast with. However, there are a few ground rules: 1. No one gets to find out what is in the drink before you taste it. 2. If you have more than 3 rounds, you tailgate at your own risk. You see, the goal is to create a clever cocktail based on that week’s opponent, a drink that looks attractive, tastes great, and secretly packs a punch. Today’s bRuin Brew consists of a bottle of Smirnoff, a cup of lemonade, and some lemon-lime Gatorade, and I must admit it tastes surprisingly delicious. On other gamedays, this crew toasts with Husky Tears (UDub), Broken Condoms (USC), and Beaver Juice (apparently, we lost 3 thirsty tailgaters to Beaver Juice the last time Oregon State came to town).
While Arizona State fans seem astoundingly rational (only in comparison to other college football fans), that doesn't mean they can't be rational die-hards. One of the guys I spoke to at Kyle's tailgate has given up going to away games because the Devils lose whenever he shows up. Right now, he is on an 0-14 losing streak when seeing the Devils on the road. This is an especially difficult sacrifice considering that this guy is one of the many SoCal Sun Devils who live in LA, San Diego, or Orange County yet stay loyal to their Devils. This particular tailgater makes the 400 mile trip from Irvine to Tempe for each home game, but despite living just 45 miles from the Coliseum, he refuses to attend the Sun Devils games at 'SC, because he is sickly aware of the effect his presence has on the team during road games. Back when he was just beginning to recognize the terrible effect he had on his squad, he began trying to cherry pick easy road games. Two years ago, he made the trip out to Corvallis in November for 6th-ranked ASU's matchup against a Beavers team that had won 1 Pac-12 game all season. By the time he was on the flight back to John Wayne Airport, his beloved Devils lead in the Pac-12 South had evaporated and Oregon State was celebrating their biggest win of the season.
Now, does this sound ridiculous that somebody whose last meaningful football snap was in a B-league intramural game could actually affect the outcome of a game between the best football players on the West Coast? Probably. But I know exactly what he means. Some things just can’t be explained, and if for inexplicable reasons your team wins when you aren’t there, you have to make the sacrifice and find ways to not be there more often.
Sidenote: Despite his claims to have given up going to away games, it appears he just may not be able to kick the habit after all. I'd tell you to bet Colorado this weekend, but that’d essentially be insider trading, so I’ll just say I think the Devils hopes could hinge on whether or not a Southwest flight from Irvine to Denver takes off on time.
Moustache Nation
While Kyle and his crew stake their claim to one of the only areas around Sun Devil stadium with real grass, which again, is amazing due to the joy it provides in allowing tailgating games to be played with unlimited vigor, possibly the best area for tailgating at ASU is set up in the most Arizona of settings - on artificial turf.
ASU has one lot set aside for loyal ticket holders and boosters that is on some sort of soccer field. It is the home of several tremendous tailgates, tattoos, and tube tops. Among the best tailgates that this lot has to offer, is the Tempe residence of Moustache Nation.
Moustache Nation is a group of Sun Devil fans that, you guessed it, sport moustaches during football season as a way to galvanize some extra spirit into gameday together. The premier event of each season for Moustache Nation is the Nation’s trip to a road game, where they go out of their way to show off their moustaches while throwing the greatest visitor’s tailgate in the conference. The moustache growing is taken with such seriousness that each year 3 lucky ladies from the host school are recruited to judge the 'stahces, and determine which member of the Nation will enjoy infinite bragging rights to go along with their Ultimate Stache trophy.
While the main event is the road trip, Moustache Nation still does Tempe tailgating right. With a line of several gold tents, 3 flatscreen TVs, a ginormous bucket of ice cold beer, and custom made shot skis to rally the troops, it's clear Moustache Nation brings their A-game both at home and on the road.
Moustache Nation actually existed for several years before the moustache. Not as former fraternity brothers or neighbors or anything, but out of organic relationships of tailgaters and their friends that slowly became closer and closer. Then after a few years, one of the tailgaters, Jay, learned about the Glorious Moustache Challenge (a documentary about how growing a moustache transforms insecure boys into proud mustachial pioneers). Armed with this new insight, Jay convinced everyone that if ASU was ever going to get back to competing for Rose Bowls, the team was going to need some mustachial pioneers of their own providing support from the stands, and bravo, Moustache Nation was formed.
Among the excellent elements of Moustache Nation’s tailgates are the t-shirts created each year and then alternatively trotted out throughout the season. Most of the shirts are a fresh take on the shirts you see at other schools commemorating past championships and bowl games. For example, while other schools love to wear their shirts celebrating trips to the Rose Bowl 20 and 30 years ago, Moustache Nation has a sense of humor about both Arizona State’s place in college football history and the lack of importance any 1977 triumph has on today’s game. Therefore, Moustache Nation’s shirts celebrate some of the lesser revered moments in the program's history, such as being “3-time Hawaii Bowl Runner-Ups” or champions of the prestigious 1978 Garden State Bowl.
We’ll hopefully be seeing Moustache Nation again in Eugene for the fifteenth annual Moustache Nation road trip in a few weeks, but one more hilarious story before moving on. Moustache Nation took the trip to Utah a few years back for an October match-up with their new Pac-12 foe. Since they were headed to Utah, they obviously were in need of some shot skis, which they had custom made and dragged along to Salt Lake City to assist them in warming up their vocal chords. When they were all getting out of the cab at the airport to head home, the poor guy who was stuck transporting the shot skis was the first to get out of the cab. After he grabbed the fully loaded ski bag and headed inside the terminal, the cab driver got back in the cab and commented to the other guys, “Did that guy really think he was going skiing in October? What an idiot!” Just another form of proof that the mustachial continue to be misunderstood.
Crafty Devils
One of the tailgates I was told I must hit when in Tempe was the tailgate put on by Crafty Devils. Crafty Devils are craft beer fanatics, who have combined unique beers, sensational food, and incredible hospitality into a top-notch gameday experience for whoever can join them. As you might expect, it starts with the beer. The originator of Crafty Devils is on the road all the time for work and uses the opportunity to chat up local bartenders about each region’s best beers, which he then collects and stores for gameday appearances. Each gameday, the Devils put together a list of about 20 craft beers with a focus on beers that cannot be found in Arizona (at least until the Arizona-focused menu on Territorial Cup gameday) and there are no repeats throughout the season.
Then there is the food, which follows a similar formula to other places we’ve seen throughout the season: different team, different theme. From what I hear the brisket from the Texas Tech game a few weeks back was absolutely tremendous, and after tasting today’s carne asada tacos in honor of my Los Angeles-based Bruins, I'm nearly ready to deem these guys the best chefs in the conference.
The Crafty Devils have seriously thought everything through. Not only do they have tremendous beer and food every week, but the iPod playlist is perfectly timed so that 45 minutes prior to kickoff, AC/DC’s Thunderstruck, the Sun Devil’s walkout song, comes on and signals that it is time to pack up. Which also happens to be right around the time their designated driver shows up. In an absolutely genius move, they’ve convinced/bought/strategically persuaded one of their buddies to be their designated driver. all season long, he ubers to the stadium, enjoys the delicious food grilled up each week, takes in the Sun Devils' game from his season ticket the Crafty Devils pay for, and then drives the Crafty Devils home in their own vehicle. While college football has done its part to ensure all fans end the game sober by continuing to employee Pac-12 refs who are guaranteed to blow at least 3 huge calls a game and then spend 30 minutes talking to each other about how to explain those illogical calls, when you are spending all day diving into to the best craft beers from across the country, it's an incredibly masterful move to always have a scheduled ride home.
Quick Hits
Let's be honest, this quest was never going to be objective. 13 Saturdays is about capturing how fans experience the Conference of Champions, and I am a fan. A passionate, irrational UCLA fan. Therefore, the actual game on Saturday was about as enjoyable as playing a game of tag with rattlesnakes in the middle of a bunch of cacti. Despite this, I'll try to capture a few other highlights from Sun Devils gameday:
The Weather: People from Big-10 country would be very confused coming to an October ASU game. It creates a whole different meaning for “football weather,” and it is tremendous. I have no idea what the temperature was when the game kicked off at 7:45pm, but I wouldn't be surprised if the thermometer simply read "PERFECT." I have no doubt that when your team can accumulate greater than negative-1 rushing yard, desert evenings are pretty idyllic for football.
The Streak: The streak is over! Nope, not Oregon's 12-year reign over Washington that came to a crumbling demise this weekend. I scoured the lots and there appears to be no Arizona State ambulance tailgating vehicle. After gracing the first 5 games of this tour of the Pac-12, the ambulance trend has apparently not yet broken through to the Grand Canyon state. This could be ominous for ASU's chances in the South.
The Screen: There is only one reason all these tailgaters are putting up with the havoc of the stadium renovation and it has nothing to do with more comfortable seats or nicer amenities. Once the stadium renovation is done, Arizona State will have the largest video board in the state. That’s right, Arizona State’s video board will be exactly 1 foot taller and 1 foot wider than U of A’s new video board. A three-year, $268 million dollar stadium renovation to upgrade a 60-year old stadium, and the only reason fans are willing to put up with it, a good ol’ one-upping of a hated rival. Reason #87,967 why college football is the greatest.
